Random Change

Change is everywhere these days.

Moving furniture..moving house. Changing out the old with the new. Alternating feelings of pressure, pain, freedom and release.

I hate being vague, but right now, it's my cover.

I have a headache today. The kind of headache that used to be reserved for the morning after long nights out, but now they just happen. I think I may have looked at a bottle for too long last night. That's enough.

Music and inspiration have been difficult to come by. Beyond not having much time, I also just plain haven't had much spirit for it. I haven't had time to *listen* to music, which in turn drains the well of creation. Its difficult going through such dry times, but I know somehow that this is only temporary. The muse will return.

My life cycles on the 11s it seems. My career started at 21, my marriage at 31 and this..new stage at 41 (If anything changed at 1 and 11 I am hard pressed to say what it was). Some things have me very excited to be alive while others have me dreading every morning I have to wake. I see the future and am envious of my son and the wonders he will see. Then I watch the news and I am fearful of the horrors.

I wish I actually knew how to write a blog post. I wish I knew how to organize my thoughts in effective sentences and paragraphs instead of this persistent stream of consicousness gibberish. I wish I had the time.

I wish I had a topic.

I need more coffee.